(MCS) Middle Child syndrome... Reality or hoax?

I am the middle of 5 children.  Smack dab in the middle.  I get so lonely because I am 4 years older than my younger brother, and 8 years older than my little sister, I'm 4 years younger than one of my older sisters, and I'm 6 years younger than the other one.  One of my older sisters is constantly getting far more attention than the rest of us, she gets to go out with my parents, or just get quality time with one parent simply because she wants to.  If I were to ask my mom or dad to go out- even just with a friend- even if I had a ride- they still would probably keep me home.  My little siblings are spoiled rotten, and my older sister is constantly just going through another difficultu, like, what the heck?  On the other hand, if I whine, slack, get angry it's like I'm not a teen and I have to be PERFECT.  I even get yelled at, and the "you disappoint me" speech when I read (extra-curricular reading) a lot, which to escape constant bullying, and sadness, I tend to binge read a lot.  Like 2-4 novels in one week.  But enough about that.  Honestly I am so sick of the way people treat me.  Especially when people say "just because you have no one to talk to, doesn't mean you can be depressed."  Let me get one thing straight!  Depression is real, it's a killer, and it can attack ANYONE at ANY time.  "Middle child syndrome" may be a hoax, or at least when people say it only effects middle children, or that it attacks every single middle child.  "Middle child syndrome" is real.  It is another name for chronic depression due to being lonely.  Being lonely is going to usually cause depression.  Sometimes when you're lonely for a long time- not the type of loneliness that you choose, it's the type of loneliness that just happens, you grow accustomed to it and depression sets in, and then you're stuck.  When you're stuck and depressed you get REALLY good, and I mean REALLYYYY good at faking your happiness.  Most of those people who try to fake happiness are so obvious that it's very clear that they're just big attention seekers, but often the ones who need the most help are the attention seekers, they need a big fat reality check.  I was a person who hated when people faked faking just for attention.  I don't understand why there are happy people faking being depressed, faking being happy when they're already happy just to get a little attention, and not even the good kind!  I can't stand when people do that.  But enough about that!  This is about "MCS".  So in my opinion, "Middle Child Syndrome" is legit.  I believe everyone feels very sad in a lifetime, I do not, however, believe that everyone experiences depression in their lifetime, it doesn't just happen.  But I believe "MCS" is just another form of depression.  I don't think that "middle child syndrome"  itself is the correct name for it, but the symptoms are that of those similar to depression.  So, in conclusion, "MCS" in my opinion is not a hoax, just an incorrect name.  And if you feel as though you are suffering from "MCS" or depression there are multiple hotlines, chatrooms, and support groups for depression, and since "MCS" is a form of depression, so many people will be able to relate and help you.  Never keep a cry for help on the inside, no one can hear that, scream for help if you need to, and in the end you will make it.
XOXO
Love you guys!
-Morgan

Here We Go.

So here is my first blog of 2016.  I have decided that this year I will be more driven to blog twice a week.
So when you have a craving for love and acceptance you either will throw yourself at everyone and everything that comes your way, or you will separate your soul from your body and disconnect from everything, or you might just block everyone out.  I am just the kind of person that blocks everybody out when I am hurting.  When you block people out, you may be missing the chance to meet someone you're destined for.  When I say "I am just that kind of person" I really should say I was that type of person, a few months ago.  I was feeling unwanted and unloved at that time, and I had very few people available to talk to, and there were gallons of tears- literally,  I do not think I had ever cried as much or as often as I did back then.  Much of this changed when I met a couple people.  First, I met someone that I claim as my big sister now, just by her being there was helpful.  I met one of my best friends, who didn't understand what I was going through, yet was one of the most helpful.  I met a good friend, but I didn't talk to him much in the beginning, but his very uplifting spirit showed me that no matter how hard your life has been, it doesn't change the goodness of your personality/soul.  The most important person I met, well reconnected with, was my God.  God is good to me, he is my provider, my most important opinion, and most of all He is who I am completely in love with.  It is the type of pure love that is not something to be ashamed of.  Because God loves me, and you, too.  And we don't care about what others think, because love that comes from our ultimate creator is beautiful, and pure, and healing.  No matter how hard you've had it.  Your husband or wife may have left you, but you know who was there when you couldn't be?  God.  Have you lost a child, or had multiple failed pregnancies and just wanted to cry out?  Do you now have any living children?  Do you know how you have the gift of children?  God.  Did you know that the child from the terminated/failed pregnancy was pure? Do you know who they are with right now? God.  Have you made mistakes, even terrible, really bad ones?  So have I.  And do you know who has accepted your apology and has forgiven you?  God.  You know how you're reading this right now and scoffing?  God wants you to know you are beautiful, and loved, and accepted.  God wants you to accept him into your life.  Only you can make that decision, though.  There is not one person on Earth who can force you to accept God.  Only you have that authority on this Earth.
To end this blog I will say that when you  block people-anyone- Family, friends, or God out, you are not hurting anyone close to as much as you are hurting yourself.  
XOXO -Morgan