Breaking up with my best-friend.

Hi...  I'm having a really hard time today...  I have practically broken up with my best friend recently, we weren't officially broken up as friends, although our friendship was thinning out gradually.  It has been one of the most painful things that I have ever experienced.  Probably because this is one of the few people that I love.  I had to end it once and for all, for the better.  I have had a hard time not having feelings for this person, (more-than-friends type feelings), while I do not want these feelings, they're still there.  THEY ARE  STILL THERE.  I hate it.  Because I actually like someone who I want to like, and want these feelings, but these other feelings are destroying what I have going with the other person.  My best-friend was like my brother, and now I just hate that I love him.  I am broken.  My strings are snapped like a marionette doll.  I am so tired of these feelings.  The reason that I am ending the friendship is that I really don't want to like my ex-bestfriend, let's call him John.  I started developing feelings for John around a year and a half ago, but honestly I hate myself for even allowing myself to have feelings for him, because I really don't want to have them.  It's too late.  I've got to break this friendship up.  I can't keep this up.  I really can't.  I really dislike who he's become.  But then again, how he changed makes me love him even more.  But I have to shut this down.  I can't do it anymore.  I have to cut any ties I have with him.  Even if he doesn't realize it, he's slowly suffocating me.  I just...  I don't know.  And then, I have another person let's call her Lexi.  Lexi thinks she knows him so well, but she really doesn't, it goes to show you that John related stuff is destroying my good friendship with Lexi.  It shouldn't take me long to get over him.  I'm good at controlling my feelings.  I hope this stops.  I hope he just leaves me alone.  I hope I barely ever see him.  Because honestly, I can't stop relapsing back into this hell hole.  He's a trap.  He's like kryptonite.  He doesn't even mean to, but he traps me every time.  Every time I tell him I've moved on, which is always true, he traps me again.  He doesn't care about me at all.  And that's good.  I don't want him to care.  That will make it so much easier.  I can't stand this.  I don't really want to break up with my best friend, but I have to.  Because this friendship is killing me, literally.  So, I don't know, I am really scared, because it's like when a person stops using drugs after they have become addicted.  Not that I am addicted to a person, I don't think that is quite possible.  I just think that he's my bad habit.  Old habits die hard.  I actually am sorry for myself.
Morgan, I am sorry that I let you down.  I am sorry I let you do this.  I am so sorry that I am stupid, and gullible, and that I gave him the power to have your heart.  Sincerely, yourself.  I'm accepting  that I have to let go.  I have to let go.  I have to let go of this, and never let myself slip away again.  I'm sorry, me.  I just can't do this anymore.  I can't let myself love someone who is honestly bad for me.  Anyway, this was really stupid, but whatever.  None of you know me anyway, so whatever.
OK.  I'll fake a smile until I talk to you guys again on Monday or something.
XOXOXOXO :D
-Morgan      

The discrimination of redheads must stop... Hating someone because of their hair colour is similar to racism, and I'm tired of it.

Hi.  Today is a more serious topic.  Today's topic is about redhead hate and bullying.  If you're a redhead reading this, then you will probably relate, if you're one of those jerks who tear us apart everyday because of the fact that we have the rarest hair colour in the entire world, then continue reading, because YOU'RE WRONG about everything you say to us (unless it's "Oh, you're hair is gorgeous!"  Because, oh yeah, we know.)  People don't realize that hating on someone because of their hair colour, is just as absurd as hating on someone because of their skin- and we often times are because some redheads are very pale- well if one is...  THEY ALL ARE!  Some redheads have a lot of freckles- my hair is the colour of fire, and I have about 4 freckles on my face.  But then again, "OH NO!  some people have freckles! They must steal souls, oh, and of course, they don't have souls!"  I have a soul, and it has been saved by my Lord Jesus.  And I'm not that scary.  I mean, come on!  What have we ever done to you?  How would you feel if we hated on you because you were brunette?  Or had black hair?  Blondes receive some hate as well,  LEAVE THEM ALONE!  The red heads and blondes of this world are amazing people,  again, what have they done to you, except for turn you down on going out with you?  Maybe you guys are just jealous of the compliments we receive on our natural red hair.  Maybe your mother's father's cousin's brother's great grandfather's grandfather's great aunt twice removed had her soul stolen by a redhead.  Can you steal a soul?  No?  neither can we...  Who knows who made up that hoax, but y'all need to get over it.  You look like a bunch of scared children.  Btw, children love me.  People love me, a lot of people find me attractive.  All redheads are connected somehow.  We become friends real easily, therefore we could easily build a redheaded army, and some will be Irish, Scottish, Russian, Hispanic, Chinese, Brittish, Welsh, Icelandic, etc...  And we don't show much mercy.  So next time you want to hate on a redhead because of their amazing hair, why don't you not?  Next time you feel like hating on someone because they're really pale white, how about you don't?  Believe it or not, that's racism.  And that's not okay.  Discrimination due to solely a colour of hair or skin is never okay.  #Racismisneverok #hairismisathing #ithastostop
If you want the truth, I love myself, I loveeeeee my hair, and I love that some people hate me!  (It makes me a tough, strong willed woman.  leave me, and my ginger brothers and sisters alone, or we'll come after ya!  And the Irish ones of us will make you listen to Irish folk rock music until yer ears bleed!  #floggingmollyisthebestband #irishandproud #likereallyirish
I mean seriously, I don't see your problem with our gorgeous race, or any other race for that matter.  Ya darn hairist!  (Just kidding, we love you, despite your ignorance...)
And no...  I don't have gingervitis, and no, you can't make that joke. Only gingers can make ginger jokes.
XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
-Morgan    

Reflecting on 2k15.

Now that I think about it, 2015 was...  Different, in many ways.  It wasn't a horrible year, but it wasn't great either.  I had to overcome a lot of different things, such as depression, anxiety, PTSD, and self harm.  Right now I am sitting in a car dealership and bored out of my mind, I have been here all morning because my car has some extra crap wrong with it. UGH...  Anyway 2015 was a good year because I made a few more friends than I had before, and made some new relationships that are in bloom.  I found out that when people change it doesn't only hurt you, it hurts the person.  In 2015 My best friend turned into a gigantic jerk, and I miss him a lot, but he'll never be the same.  In 2015 many friendships ended, such as the one I was just talking about, and a few others.  In 2015 I was in a bad place, I'm still not in the best place, but it's better than where I was.  In 2015 I was a cheerleader, and it was a cool experience, but I realized that I'm just not flexible or strong to do any sports.  In 2015 I was lost, I didn't know where I was with God, myself, or my family.  But enough about the past.  In 2016 I am going to overcome depression, and anxiety.  In 2016 I will work on strength and flexibility so that I can do something that makes me happy, which is cheering.  In 2016 I will find  or realize something, or someone that makes me very happy.  In 2016 I will learn to love me.  In 2016 I will find myself, I will meet me.  In 2016 I am going to be happy.  In 2016 I will have the best year I have ever had.  In 2016 I will be different (in a good way.) In 2016 things will change for the better.
XOXO
Sincerely,
Morgan

Hey Hey Hey!

Hey there, guys.  I seriously am having a terrible time keeping up with blogging!  (Not that anyone reads these)  Anywho...  How are ya?  I am doin' good, with my spring formal coming up I am extremely exited.  So anyway, since no one reads these, I'm just gonna blab.  Anyway I finally got up enough courage to ask this one guy to the dance, he said yes!  so I was extremely happy about that, I highly favor him.  I went dress shopping with my gorgeous sister, and we both found spectacular dresses.  I have yet to get the sparkly blue flats to go with my dress. (They are amazing.)  I have my name on the list.  I have an amazing sister to do my makeup, I went makeup hauling with her, and we got some amazing cosmetics from Target and Walmart.  I have been writing more of "Helana Hanging"  and it's going alright.   Well anyway, I have no more to say.
Stay Beautiful, loves!
XOXO
-Morgan