Hi. Wow, why do I keep on posting depressing, deep stuff?!
Well anyway, I'm posting another deep thing again today. My first "broken heart" happened in seventh grade. And, honestly I wasn't prepared- at all. No, I do not mean to have my heart broken, I mean to be in a relationship at all. Sixth, Seventh, or even eighth grade are ages far too young to be in a relationship. I think ninth grade is even slightly young in many cases. But anyway, in short.. JUST DON'T DATE UNTIL HIGHSCHOOL. It may seem far away, but trust me, 99% of the time you're going to break up within 6 months. Trust me. That's definitely not a long time in the real world. I have never met anyone that has been married that dated in middle school. Focus on friends and family before you're 14, then start worrying about members of the opposite sex, and wait to officially announce your sexuality until you REALLY know who YOU are. Anyway, here's the story.
It started the first day of seventh grade. I was eleven. He was thirteen. We were on the same maturity level, though, because in all reality girls mature much quicker than boys. I immediately was attracted to him, although, unsure, because he had a thing for my best friend's sister, so I then backed off. A week later I realized he wasn't there, I asked my mom about it, and she let me know that he'd gotten really sick. He was out of school for five weeks. Well one day I heard his voice and he was sitting behind me. I was him. I was really attracted and intrigued for a while. He was severely interested in my bff's sister, though. A couple weeks later, I pulled a total middle school move... I wrapped a note that said "I know it's awkward... But I like you." around the ink cartridge in a pen and put it back in the pen. I gave the pen to him, but he never read it. The next week I wrote another one and handed it to him. I had wrapped it really quite small so that he would take a while to unwrap it. I ran out of class and down the stairs as fast as possible so that I could avoid him. I went and stood by my mom who was outside of school talking to another mom, a moment later he walked up to me in all of his disgusting pig faced aggghhhhhh self, and told me he wanted to say the same thing. A few days went by and we'd been dm'ing for a few days when he asked me to be his girlfriend, I was 11, and I was thought he was the most amazing guy in the world. Little did I know that I would be heart broken for the next two years because of what he did. It was online, so I explained how I wasn't allowed to date until I was 15, (WHICH MY PARENTS TURNED INTO 18!) and told him I would love to get to know him. But the following Friday, I told him, I would've said yes, but not over the internet, and then I told him I was saying yes now. My heart starts beating faster just thinking about it. And although I've only cried about it once, but thinking about it breaks me a little. We were "together" for four months. We really weren't so involved. One day, four months later, my friend pulled me aside. She quietly said "Morgan... This morning he was talking about his girlfriend..." I felt so flattered. He was finally OK with being public about our "relationship"! So I said "Aw, that's cute." "Um, he said her name was (Lets call her Amelia) Amelia." "Oh... Maybe it's a 'Girl friend' not a 'girlfriend'... Because I'm kinda his girlfriend! He hasn't broken up with me... And he just was messaging me yesterday." "Well, maybe... But be careful... I don't trust him.." What a good friend. Well I glared at him the entire day, and he acted completely innocent, trust me he wasn't. The next week his girlfriend had transferred to our school, angd they were obviously dating. My heart was heavy, and broken. I spent that night eating icecream, chocolate, and drinking Shirley temples. I later found out he had been dating two other girls while we were together. He never even bothered to break up with me. Lol, I did not get over him for 2 years. Well, now I am over him, many years later. So did I love that pig? Yes. Do I still? GROSS, disgusting. No. There will always be a special place in my heart for him, not in a good way, and I will never be the same. I think about him every now and then, he'd probably find that creepy and weird, as do I. I'd like to hope that he will never see this. I am quite confident he never will. I am quite positive that he has completely forgotten about me. And I am glad about that! I used to think of what I would say if I ever saw him again. At this point in life I realize that all I would actually do is smile, wave, and walk away. I am proud of who I am today. I am proud of the woman I am becoming. I am proud of myself. And I now know that I do not need a man to reassure me that I am a good person. Sherman(fake name of my "ex") taught me that. By his hormonal immature arelessness he hurt a lot of people. I am greatful for his carelessness in some ways. I am stronger because of it.
Xoxo
-Morgan
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