REPOSTING FOR MYSELF>>Pain and grief is the price we pay for love

Why do you look at me like that?  Why do you talk to me in that sarcastic tone?  I really don't appreciate it.  I hate it.  When my voice gets all high and excited, don't make that face.  I hate it.  You make me feel small.  You make me feel stupid.  You make me want to end this.  You make me feel like nothing.  I hate when you do that.  That's okay.  I know you'll pretend to love me tomorrow.  I'll believe you when you say it.  I'll smile.  I'm"fine"  I'll say to my best friend, he knows I'm lying.  I wish sometimes you knew me as well as he does.  I wish you were him.    You broke me once you changed.  I miss you.  I love you.  I have to fix this.  I can't let it crash and burn.  I will never ask you to change.  I love you for you.  But, I cannot stop the pain you keep on causing me.  Yeah, I'm just a girl.  You're just a boy.  We're just teenagers.  You're just oblivious.  I'm just so sad.  I'm sorry that I'm not good anymore.  I'm sorry that I've gotten bad again..  I'm sorry.  I know that you probably don't care.  I know you don't care.  I'm completely aware that you don't love me.  I know that I let myself believe you because I kind of require acceptance.  I'm so afraid of you leaving me.  I'm terrified that you don't love me.  You probably don't.  Everyone who says they do end up ditching me eventually.  Why would this be any different?  I feel like I'm nothing.  That's okay.  I'm used to it.